May I say inappropriate word?

Andreas and I were in Siem Reap, Cambodia back in June. However, I was so far behind on my blog posts, after having no internet while in China, that I decided to skip Cambodia, and return to it at a later time. Now is that later time, and I must say...this leg of the trip was FILLED with memorable moments...stories that were hilarious, educational and wildly inappropriate at times. Please read on...

Meet our tour guide!
I should start by letting you all know that Andreas and I decided to do something in Cambodia that we didn't really do in any other country on this vacation....employ a tour guide. We were only in Siem Reap for 3 days, and thought it would allow us to maximize our site-seeing time. That's where Pireak comes into the picture. Pireak was our 24/7 tour guide! He was there to greet us when we landed...and never really left our side until we arrived back at the airport 3 days later....did I mention that he spoke some form of English...a form that neither Andreas nor I understood. So, this is the beginning of a 3 day weekend, with a gibberish speaking tour guide...who never stops talking! First stop : Angkor Wat!

Angkor Wat

Angkor Wat reflection pond. (A one of a kind, Andreas Masterpiece)

Welcome to Cambodia...land of the NO-SUNRISE SUNRISE!
We arrived at midnight the first evening, and as we get into the car Pireak says, "I hope you don't mind a female driver." For those of you who think he was joking....let me reassure you, he was dead serious! Pireak then informs Andreas and I that he will retrieve us from the hotel at 5:40am the following morning...to see the sunrise over Angkor Wat. We arrive at Angkor Wat around 6:15am to nothing but overcast skies. Disappointed that we woke up after only 4 hrs of sleep, we ask Pireak if he thinks the following day's sunrise might be any better...to which he replies, "Probably not, this is rainy season." Andreas and I are already annoyed with our guide and we are not even 24 hrs in! Both of us are wondering why we weren't given this information about "rainy season" last night! Oh, well, we are here...might as well head into Angkor Wat and check it out! Thus begins the tour from hell!

If the sun had risen that day...we would have had the best seat in the house. Notice how there is no one else there...that's because they all got the memo that it was going to be overcast and rainy at 6am!

He won't stop talking!
We enter Angkor Wat, and I have to say, it was magnificently beautiful! What wasn't so magnificent...our tour! Our homeboy Pireak wanted to discuss every carving on the wall inside this massive temple! At some point, I found myself alone with Pireak.....wondering where Andreas had disappeared too. After about 20 minutes, and no sign of Andreas...my brain was shutting down from the continuous gibberish noise-talk coming from our guide. Finally, I was able to cut him off, and ask if I could have a few moments to go find my husband. So, I head back out of the temple, looking for Andreas. I eventually find him taking photos near a set of stairs, and ask him why he left me alone with the guide. His response, "I couldn't take it anymore....The guy never shuts up, and I can't understand him....I thought you were enjoying it, so I broke off to take some photos." Let me tell you what I heard out of all of this, "I didn't want to listen anymore, so I left you high and dry and escaped while I still could."

Angkor Wat Through Andreas Eye:

Keep in mind that most of these photos were taken while I was enduring "the tour from hell"

One of the bathing pools inside the temple.

As you can see, the head was cut off of this Buddha. We were told that it was easier and just as valuable to smuggle out the heads of the Buddhas. So, many of the Buddha heads inside the temples had been removed and most likely smuggled out of Cambodia and into Thailand.

Angkor Monkey!

Entering Angkor Thom

Taking a shower can be a hard skill to master...
After Angkor Wat, we were able to go home, shower, change our clothes....and most importantly....get away from our guide for an hour. Unfortunately for Andreas, he was incapable of working the shower at the hotel. I was on Skype with my mother when I heard this deathly scream for help from the bathroom. I dropped what I was doing and ran to see if Andreas was OK! He was fine, apparently the water changed from comfortable to scalding in an instant and it burned him. Problem was that this only seemed to happen when Andreas showered....and never happened when I showered....and I'm referring to the dramatic screaming. Yes, I to had issues with the water temperature, but with the two strong legs that God blessed me with, I was able to MOVE out of the way and readjust the water to my preferred temperature. Why Andreas was incapable of doing this was a mystery to me. On the bright side, I have him auditioning for scary movie roles. I think he would be perfect for the "blonde that dies first, and screams as they are being killed" roles. ;-)

This was the bridge into Angkor Thom.

You can kind of see the lines around the neck of this Buddha Statue. Even massive statues like this one had the heads removed and smuggled out of the country. Recently, a lot of these statues have been returned to Cambodia, and are being restored.

Heading into Angkor Thom we noticed some water buffalos bathing in the river.

Angkor Thom

In a lot of ways, Andreas and I found Angkor Thom to be more beautiful than Angkor Wat.

It's currently going through a restoration project. Many countries are coming into Cambodia to help and restore some of these amazing temples.

Story Time! :-)

May I say inappropriate word?
At this point on our trip, Andreas and I were becoming pretty good at tuning Pireak out, while still nodding at him occasionally, like we were listening and understanding everything he was saying. We had walked up to a cutout in the wall of the temple, and Pireak was trying to explain that there used to be a Buddha statue inside the cutout, but that it was stolen. He then proceeds to make funny noises, and point to an area on the cutout...saying, "this area was stolen first"(nervously giggling the entire time). So, we node like we are listening, but he continues as he asks us if we know what this area was....we answer saying no, but still trying to tune him out. With that, Pireak stands up straight and very seriously says, "May I Say Inappropriate Word?" Andreas and I, desperate for a change of pace...and for some exciting commentary...quickly respond yes! To our surprise, Pireak begins spelling his intended "inappropriate word." P-E-N-I-S! That's right, for the last 3 minutes, he has been trying to tell us that the penis of the Buddha was stolen first, before any other part. Andreas and I couldn't hold back the laughter...and for the rest of the trip, our new favorite saying was "May I say inappropriate word?"

More Angkor Thom

Pretty as a picture...frame!

Massive Elephant carvings outside Angkor Thom!

VIDEO:

"Turtle Bites Your Bum" (A real gem of a story...told by none other than Pireak)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nP0lIV9xzQ

Wipe & Eat:
Going along with the random story telling produced by Pireak....this one had to be shared! We are walking down this long hallway, inside the temple, and Pireak is discussing each carving on the wall (carvings similar to the photo above). He points out one block of photos where it appears that men are squatting on the ground, and so he proceeds to enlighten us with a story.
We now know the following about Cambodian history (told to you as it was told to us): the Cambodian's had really bad issues with diarrhea. That's right, I said diarrhea. So, they lived by simple rules to eating and using the bathroom...for sanitary purposes. Natives would eat food with their right hand, then be hit with an urgent need to run to the river....because of diarrhea. At the river, they would wipe themselves with their left hand before returning to the village to finish eating with their right hand. Pireak was kind enough to act this out while telling the story....pretending to eat with his right hand and wipe is butt with his left hand.....we were thinking, seriously, is he telling us this story?
By this point, Andreas and I are certain that we are on candid camera, and are the "butt" of some cruel tourism joke. However, we will not soon forget that one eats with his right hand and wipes with his left. (makes you think twice before shaking someones left hand....)

Tomb Raider

We were taken to the Tomb Raider temple...where the movie was filmed. We were told, Tomb Raider was one of only 3 "famous" movies ever to be filmed in Cambodia. We had never even heard of the other 2...so clearly it was the ONLY popular movie ever to be filmed in Cambodia. With that said, locals love Angelina Jolie, and talk about how she is returning to do another movie soon! 
 

This tree is massive, and growing through the temple!

I don't know what caused these trees to grow like this...either Pireak never told us, or we didn't understand him when he tried to speak...but they were incredibly beautiful!

Fortune Tellers Know Best
While we were walking around this temple, we found out that the young woman driving us around for the last 2 days was actually Pireak's fiance. We suspected this, but were never really sure if she just drove for the same travel company that Pireak worked for or if she was helping him out by driving...so he could continue talking...and talking...and talking! We congratulated him, and asked when the wedding would take place. He told us that their fortune teller would pick the date of their wedding. The only thing he knows is that it will be this year (2011). He proceeded to explain that if he didn't marry his fiance before the end of the year, they would break up, because she would then be too old to marry (she was 28 in May). Now would also be a good time to mention that on the following day, Pireak told us about the money he will pay to his fiance's family in order to obtain permission to marry. He said that he paid $5000 for his fiance (which was steep), but that others can marry girls from poorer villages for $2000-3000, which is a good bargain (his words, not mine)!

The story is a little funny...however, I found myself feeling really sorry for the girl. Don't get me wrong, they seemed very happy and in love....but this girl was beautiful & educated, she was a tour guide for Japanese tours...and spoke fluent Japanese. The thought of being married off before she was too old...and being bought for $5000 was difficult for me to understand. Different cultures / different traditions I guess!


Tomb Raider Continued

We were not even half way through our Tomb Raider, and it began to rain...no pour! So, we grabbed some umbrellas and continued to trudge through the rain and enjoy the sights. Once we finished the tour Pireak told us that they have a really serious problem with people getting struck by lightening in that area when it rains....hmmm. 

The roots on these trees were something you have to see to believe!

Trying to stay dry...

but still have a good time!

Find me...I blend into the tree trunk!

The inside of this temple needs some serious renovation...but it was also nice to see these largely untouched areas!

Holding on for dear life!

Just waling along...unaware of the lightening danger. Looking back, it appears that others were informed of the danger...which is why we were probably the only morons checking out this area once the rain started.

Cambodia: A Place Like No Other:

I would have taken one of these dudes home with me, but my apartment doesn't even allow large dogs...let alone a small elephants!

VIDEO:
The Don't Touch Me Plant
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehpOsADuR9U

Local kiddos....always happy and smiling. It really looked like that the oldest child, regardless of age, was responsible for all of the younger children.

Cute Cute Cute!!! These kids were collecting cans and bottles from tourists...they were on their own...no adult around!

I just love this photo! The baby was sleeping in a hammock, but when he woke up, the grandfather grabbed him and started bouncing him up and down on this table. The entire family, including the baby was giggling and smiling with each other. When they saw us, they smiled and waved as Andreas took photos. It appeared to us that they lived in this tiny outdoor hut, outside a restaurant near Angkor Wat. It was nice to see that regardless of what they had or didn't have...they all had joy in their lives.

The Floating Village

Part of our "pre-arranged tour" was a trip to the floating village outside of Siem Reap. On our final day in Cambodia, we woke up, survived the shower and headed out of town to catch a boat that would take us up the river and towards the village....
 

We boarded this tiny boat, that I was certain would sink. (Andreas didn't have a care in the world...as for me, that's a fake/nervous smile)

yum...nothing like fresh brown water splashing in your face while other boats pass by you.

Young boys fishing along the river

These kids were swimming and just had a great time. Boys are boys...no matter what country they are from.

Casting the net

This woman and two children were collecting traps they set along this shore...we had no idea what was in the traps.

VIDEO:

Andreas "Supporting" the locals

http://youtu.be/gd-gl9Ld3eQ


Life on the Water:

A fishing boat and a view of the village as we approach!

It's jaw dropping to see kids playing in these floating homes. That baby is right up against the railing...no one is holding him as he is waving at us.

This child, who was maybe 3-4 years old, paddled up to us in a bucket...trying to sell us a nice warm Coca Cola....Andreas bought one!

Birds eye view of the village. It's a seasonal home for fishermen and their families. During the low tide season, these homes are taken to an area where they can be "stored" until the following season.

This is the church and the school. This particular village was for Vietnamese fisherman and their families. Although there are many Cambodians living in the village as well...the school is for Vietnamese children only. The Cambodian children have to be transported to the mainland for school.

The Gator Farm

Within the floating village, there is a gator farm. Alligators are caught, "grown" and sold for their meat and skin. 

We stopped at the farm...caught a glimpse of a few of these suckers. My only questions was...they were caught, which means there are gators living in the water...the same water that all those kids were playing and swimming in...a little unnerving! 

VIDEO:

"Overpopulated Fish Farm"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5VieZUdym8

Roof deck of the gator farm! This was a tin roof out on the water in Cambodia...one of my toes slipped off my sandal and touched the roof...pretty sure I suffered 1-degree burns!

Cambodian Version of a Petting Zoo
Sadly we did not get any photos of the children selling things in the floating village. This was because we were told that if we took photos of or with these kids, they would ask for money in return. There was only one memory I wish I had captured in a photo....There was a small child (3 yrs old), in a tiny boat, carrying a python around his neck. As his boat approached ours, I lunged to escape the giant snake...and I know what you're thinking...if he was only 3, how big could the snake have been...the answer is BIG, bigger than the 3 year old! When Pireak saw the panic in my eyes, he asked the "snake boat" to leave. With that, the 3 yr old child, takes the snake from around his neck and throws it onto the boat floor. I was shocked, and for a split second, and only a split second....I felt bad for that poor little snake! It's amazing to see and compare the lack of fear in these children...and the uncontrollable fear in me!

And no post is complete without....
A few "Cambodian Funnies"!

Nothing says welcome to your hotel like a sign that reads "Drug Free, Gun Free Zone"

I know you all have been trying to picture Pireak in your heads for this entire post....ladies and gentlemen....this is the man behind such stories as "Eat with your right, wipe with your left" and "May I say inappropriate word?"

Hmm, not my best photo! However, had to share one of me holding the balloon in my hand. We asked Pireak how much it cost to go up in the balloon, overlooking Angkor Wat. He said, "It's very reasonable, only $1 to go up (pause.......) and $14 to come down. ;-)

Pireak wasn't all bad...he taught us how to get photos like this from Angkor Thom!

Eskimo Kisses with Buddha!

Hehe...Buddha "Eskimo" kiss!

I think today, while touring the temples, I'll wear the shirt that highlights my beer belly and man boobs!

Come on, you know your thinking the same thing I am....this tree trunk looks like a naked butt with legs! :-)

Tour Guide Finale - 
The Cambodian Dancing Show & Buffet

Allow me to explain - We were told that this was one of the greatest attractions in Cambodia...by none other than our tour guide, Pireak! So, you could say it was our own fault when we arrived at what appeared to win this years award for the the worst "knock off Luau of the season"! The food was buffet style...and disgusting...I think we ate bread, plain pasta, plain rice and more rice! The show was slow and boring, and the worst part was that Pireak stood at the back exit, which made it impossible for us to escape! It was like a bad dream we just couldn't wake ourselves up from!
In the end, we should have known this was coming. It would have been silly to think that we would end this leg of the trip on a high note! :-)

VIDEO:

"American Buffet Lover's"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZ_nbDFJHN0

Save us! Someone get us out of here!!!

I just cant get this saying out of my head! 

The saying "Same Same but Different" was used by our tour guide, continuously during the trip! He referred to everything as Same Same but Different.

Shannon & Andreas: Pireak how do you like living in Siem Reap compared to the village you grew up in?
Pireak : It's Same....Same Same....But Different. 
 Shannon & Andreas: What do you mean?
Pireak :The people are the same...only more people here than in my village.

These words started to grow on us a little....and I found my own meaning for Same Same but Different!

Meg is my 'Same Same but Different' (Yes, I bought the t-shirt!)

Goodbye Siem Reap!
Ahhh, Cambodia! I know this trip would not have been the same without Pireak.....whether that is a good thing or a bad thing is yet to be determined. We can say that the people were friendly, generous and always willing to offer up a smile. The food was not anything to write home about, but the scenery was magical! I can't say we will ever be back here...in Siem Reap at least....but maybe some day we will have the chance to explore other parts of Cambodia...without Pireak.  Honestly, this leg of the trip flew by (except during the times we had to listen to Pireak speak, or while we were at the "Luau" show....

Now it's time for the final leg of our trip on this blog! We went from France to Portugal for the last 10 days of our 3-month adventure....we plan on soaking up some sun and eating some darn good food! Check out that post coming soon! 

NEWS ALERT:
FYI, I plan to start up a new blog around the same time that this one is ending. It's going to focus on Funny Travel Photos....ya know, all the funny photos YOU take while on vacation! We all have them...the fat guy in a speedo, the trash can that says dispose butts here.....like I said, we all have them! However, in order for this blog to work, I need all of you to start thinking about that most hilarious photo you have saved from vacations that you would like to share! More details to come...get ready!